Admissions

Currently Reading and Up Next
Originally uploaded by Rachel Ariel.

Currently Listening: Camera Obscura "Happy New Year"

This morning I fell in love with an unexpectedly quiet busy street. I love moments when it feels like the world is sleeping and I am watching.

I have great difficulty admitting I am wrong. It hurts. It is so hard to look at something that seemed so genuinely to be *truth* and to realize that it was not.

I was wrong about him, and I was wrong in my dealing with him. These admissions have no bearing on the factual reality of a series of unfortunate situations in which I was treated badly. The point is that, in retrospective analysis, I can see a number of instances in which I made the wrong decision, and I don't like being wrong.

What bothers me the most is when I am wrong in my estimation of people. I am a fairly guarded soul, I don't let people in very easily, and when I do it is geenrally because I truly *want* them to be a part of my life, and have some fair bit of evidence that they want to be a part of my life. To have let someone in who has proven unworthy of those small bits of trust has proven... hurtful.

Moreover it hurts that I do still want him to be a part of my life, because that was what I wanted when I let him in in the first place.

Really I just want to be the cutest girl at the comic*con. I suppose I'd haveto actually go to a comic*con first.