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Originally uploaded by Rachel Ariel.

Original description: If we never stand still we can never be possessed.

What is the nature of love? I come to realize that love is not, in fact the wonderful thing i have been lead to believe that it is. When we tell someone we love them we are not giving the person a gift, we are giving them a reponsibility. By telling someone that we love them, we are saying "I am giving you a small piece of myself. Please take care of it, nurture it, protect it, and allow it to grow and thrive in your care."

There are a number of people in my life to whom I say "I love you" I never use the term cavalierly, but there are those for whom I know the words mean, and are intended, as something more.

I have seriously been involved with four guys, each of whom I have told that I love. I meant it when I said it, and looking backwards with the pain of a breakup does not change the feelings and emotions that existed at the time. My understanding of love has also developed significantly in the nearly seven years since I told the first of these guys, men, that I loved him. Only he, my first love, has taken seriously the responsibility of loving, and being loved by me. Though the passion of romance has long since faded, the lust is nothing but a memory, I cherish him, and he cherishes me, in a way that allows me to grow under his protection.

I am in the process of deciding how to become more... discerning in whom I trust this responsibility. I should not give pieces of myself away for just anyone to hold.

And I should not stand still for long enough that they can take it from me while I become complacent.

Listening to: Massive Attack "Protection"